Your Sacred Responsibility
In a world where wickedness rules and
righteousness is old-fashioned, it is becoming more complicated to raise
children in a safe environment. There are quite a few reasons for it. For example, it is hard to control the powers which shape children’s characters and
affect their future choices (social media, internet, friends, school, etc.).
However, there is one power that should influence children the most.
“Parents have a sacred duty to rear their
children in love and righteousness” (The Family, para. 6). Parents have a great
responsibility and honour to take care of their children, as well as teach them
the truth. God has trusted them this sacred duty so they will follow His
example of righteous parenting. Just as God teaches His children the truth, so should
parents do. If they fail to do so, they will have to accept the consequences.
Righteous parenting means expressing charity,
gentleness, kindness, long-suffering, persuasion, and appropriate discipline in
a warm and nurturing relationship (D&C 121:39-46). Parents should imply the
optimal style of parenting. “Authoritative parenting fosters a positive
emotional connection with children, provides for regulation that places fair
and consistent limits on child behavior, and allows for reasonable child autonomy
in decision making” (Hart et al, p. 108). In comparison with coercive and
permissive parenting styles, this one creates a safe environment for children
to learn and grow.
The first element parents need to create a
safe environment is love. Ezra Taft Benson has counseled parents to be real
friends to their children and spend quality time with each child (1990, p.32).
Children will learn more effectively when they feel safe, which safety comes
from parents’ love.
The second significant principle is about
setting the limits. It means that children exactly know what the consequences
are for not following the rules. Parents should follow through with the
consequences which are set for each rule. Please, notice that coercive parents
use harsh punishment and do not express love in such cases. In contrast,
authoritative parents patiently explain principles, reasons, and rules (Hart et al, p. 109). Keep in mind that children do not learn in punishment; they
learn when they feel loved.
Finally, parents should give their children
opportunities to act for themselves. “Providing latitude may include parents
developing a middle-of-the-road approach that balances granting autonomy with
regulation” (Hart et al, p. 113). Authoritative parents give their children
plenty of opportunities to practice what they learn. Of course, it does not
mean that there will not be any disappointments. However, they trust that the
children will make the right choices because they have done their best to teach
them.
Overall, parents may switch between parenting
styles from time to time. However, the principle remains the same- teach the
children to righteousness!
What parenting practices have you seen to be
effective and why?
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng
Benson, E. T. (1990). To the mothers in Zion. In E. T. Benson (Ed.), Come, listen to a prophet’s voice. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book.
Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2016). Parenting with love, limits, and latitude: Proclamation principles and supportive scholarship. In Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives (pp. 104-115). Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.
Parenting is an opportunity to bring our children unto Christ through His doctrine and teach them to be righteous which will save lives.
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