The Right Foundation

 

       The Right Foundation

 

Marital relationships have changed immensely throughout time. Some of those changes have been negative in the past few decades. They brought serious consequences, such as the high divorce rate throughout the world. Merrill and Marilyn Bateman noticed in one of their speeches, “people have learned to discard everything from paper plates to spouses.” (Bateman & Bateman, 2003, p.7) It’s heartbreaking to see so many couples divorce, break their promises, and neglect the vows they made at the altar. Today, most people view marriage as two people’s cohabitation, and not a sacred union under the direction of God. Thus, it is much easier to change companions several times throughout life than it was several decades ago. So, what has changed about marriage?  

Firstly, young adults should keep in mind the sacred nature and role of families. The prophets have counseled, “…marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan…” (The Family Proclamation to the World). Starting a family is not a simple tradition but a vital ordinance and pattern established by God. Overall, spouses need to include God in their relationship in order to perpetuate it to eternity.

Stephen Duncan and Sara Zasukha introduce six foundational processes that bless marriages. These principles and activities will make your marriage the lasting relationship you dream of. They will strengthen the intimacy between spouses that will strengthen the foundation.

https://onisim.net/building-a-strong-foundation-for-your-life-part-ii/

1. The first principle that spouses should seriously consider is the personal commitment to the marriage covenant (Duncan, p.28). This principle is one of the most necessary ones for a lasting relationship. Spouses need to be committed to going through family-life challenges and difficulties that will come up along the way. The commitment comprises decision, choice, character change, sacrifice, devotion, etc. Since the marriage covenant is made with God, spouses should get closer to God by their lifestyles. If they both diligently do so, they will not only secure their marriage from falling apart but also stay spiritually healthy.
   
   
2. The second process that is in the foundation of lasting marriages is the love and friendship between the spouses (Duncan, p. 30). True friendship is a firm foundation for strong marriages. Spouses need to get to know each other very well, especially what they like/dislike. By doing so, they will better show affection toward their companion. It takes conscious and deliberate effort to show love for the companion. For example, have frequent conversations as friends, spend quality time together, show appreciation, etc.
   
   
3. Spouses should also make their interactions positive. Gordon B. Hinckley taught, “When we look for the worst in anyone, we will find it.” One of the easiest things to do is faultfinding. However, it will not take your marriage long if you do the easy task every time. Focus on your partner’s good qualities, and use them effectively in your relationship (Duncan, p.32). At the end of the day, we all have faults.
   
   
4. The next principle will help spouses feel equally important. It is the ability to listen and compromise when making decisions, which is referred to as accepting influence from the spouse (Duncan, p.32). Now, who doesn’t feel good when asked for advice or given a chance to participate in the decision making. Spouses will show that they value their companion if they ask for each other’s opinions and try to understand the ideas shared. Trust and open communication will help in conversations.
   
   
5. Now, no matter how loving and perfect the couple is in the relationship, there come times when they see things from the opposite side. However, there are problems that they can prevent, and there are disagreements that need to be resolved. Therefore, companions should be open, eliminate pride, and take steps toward calming down (Duncan, p.34).
   
   
6. Lastly, spouses should deliberately make effort to keep the relationship. Here are some key steps that will make a difference:

•  learn one thing that happened in your spouse’s life each day
•  have a stress-reducing conversation at the end of each day
•  do something special every day to show affection and appreciation
•  have a weekly date

In conclusion, these foundational processes are great principles that bless numerous families all over the world. They help spouses maintain the intimacy and love they develop throughout the years. Life’s challenges can be like a storm, where only a strong foundation can save the family.

What is the foundation of your marriage?

Bateman, M. J., & Bateman, M. S. (2020, October 09). Mortality and Our Eternal Journey. Retrieved October 22, 2020, from https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/merrill-j-and-marilyn-s-bateman/mortality-eternal-journey/

The Family Proclamation. (1995). Retrieved October 22, 2020, from https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2016). Foundation Processes for an Enduring, Healthy Marriage. In Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives (pp. 28-34). Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

https://onisim.net/building-a-strong-foundation-for-your-life-part-ii/